The current enthusiasm about the Divorce Bill is one which illustrates
how redundant Uganda Legislators have become. I disagree to the simple notion
that culture and tradition of our people should be legislated. However,
cultural practices that promote criminality and social inequities must be
discouraged.
The institution of marriage in Uganda is practiced and
sustained differently across the over 42 different ethnic groups. As such, each
cultural entity has its own sentimental and cultural values attached to these
practices. The mechanism by which marriage is moderated has been reliant on
social capital rooted in age old African traditions. This attitude of Ugandan
elitist women attempting to copy, paste and impose Eurocentric and American
feminist ideologies on Ugandans therefore must be chided. Bride price, for instance, is the equivalent
of proposal in the west and there is no scientific evidence which shows
conclusively that bride price is associated with domestic violence. To the
contrary, proposals are associated with blood diamonds rings and other precious
stones stolen from Africa.
There are outright cultural practices that drag our
societies backward, such as female genital mutilation. Some of these cultures
are dying out of attrition as the population becomes increasingly educated and
exposed to the world of scientific realism. Take for instance; the popularity
of polygamous marriage has plummeted over the past decades. Families are becoming
smaller and sensitive to economic challenges of modern day Uganda. What has
replaced polygamy is now promiscuity and marital infidelity that is widely
practiced.
There are many mistakes in this proposed Marriage and
Divorce Bill because it lacks the commonality of a national legislation. This
shows that there has not been a deliberate study of some of the social issues
that it should be resolving. For instance, the Bill proposes that women can
divorce their husbands on the ground of impotency. First, a scientific
definition of impotency must be provided so that there is agreed upon benchmark.
Further, research has shown that marital coercion affects the women more than
the men. This is because most Ugandan women are still largely dependent on the
men for their livelihood. Our cultures still binds women to the institution of
marriage as repository of morality. More studies are illustrating that men are
always hesitant to test for diseases; always attribute any STIs/STDs to women
and often women are blamed for “not giving” the man children.
While these are very sensitive issues, we must also agree
that modern day Uganda has not achieved universal education. What this means is
that most people are still of very low literacy level and this kind of elitist legislation
will only put them in bigger trouble by tearing down family units.
I agree that women need more supportive structures to enable
them overcome socially and historically rooted injustices and inequities.
Nonetheless, family stability is at the core of a healthy society. What this
Bill does, is not address structural issues, such as culpability to intimate
partner violence and the management of after divorce or separation. Research
again shows clearly that the most troubling aspect of a married woman’s life is
the life after divorce. In fact, the quality of life of the women depreciates
significantly following divorce. For a woman who depends entirely on the man,
her life may become a nightmare, such that turning to prostitution or
consorting into a lesbian relationship becomes inevitable – the reason in some
of these developed countries, the partner with high income are required to
continue supporting the separated partner financially through a period, after
divorce.
What is also very clear is that domestic violence and
marital rape are all criminal acts and are attributable to other aspects of socio-cultural
factors that are permissive of such. This must be clearly discerned from the
value of bride price because in some marriages, women are also known for battering
their husbands, terribly!
While some aspects of the Bill are relevant, such as sharing
property between married couples upon divorce, the Bill makes no mention of
pre-nuptials. Further, what is also increasing irritating is what we should
coin as “human trading” that manifests during introduction sessions in Uganda. The
inflated demands of bride price pose more problems to the intending couples.
This practice, especially in Buganda and Western Uganda must be halted
immediately.
I have seen on TV where parents are asking for millions of
cash money, lots of material goods, such as fridges, cars, complete living room
upgrades, completing a house or financing the building perimeter walls, twenty cows,
trucks of matooke and many additional items. In fact, one mock music video by
Northern Uganda artist 2pee depicts a scene where the bride’s family listed 2
AK47s among the items for introduction.
Now, the commercialization of marriage processes must be fully examined
because it has become a ticket to poverty and recipe for corruption.
This Bill, if passed in its current form, will provide a
great opportunity for more individuals to become sexually independent. What
that means is that there will not be commitment in relationships. As a
consequence, men will consort more with men and women with women because of
complex social implications of heterogeneous relationships. This is not a far-fetched
claim because in the western countries we copy cultures from, people live in
open relationships in fear of commitment. Bride price is the social fiber that
holds families together. I believe that cultures should not be a matter of
legislation.
