#AcholiDames: Part 1
Pauline Lagot and Nancy Aber have
been friends from childhood. Both were children of Police Officers in Gulu.
Their best memories were playing nyorio and kedu wic (weaving
hair) on the verandah of holy Rosary School back in the days.
With the war raging, the two girls
took a different life's path. Each going with the twirl of opportunity
available at the time. Pauline went to Sacred Heart in Gulu, and Nancy went to Trinity
College, Nabingo. The choice of the school reveals how deeply entrenched their
families were in the Catholic faith. And, like most of their contemporaries, a Sunday
mass at Holy Rosary was exhilarating.
Once separated, the two girls tried
as much as possible to communicate, by writing letters, when they could. Those
snail mails of the 90s were the ropes that strum them together. The Postal bus
service was the most reliable means of delivering the letters from one end to
the other.
Recently, Pauline found her bundle of
letters from Nancy and she re-read them again. The page on which these words
were inscribed, became the scene for articulating and etching a beautiful
vision that would never be realized.
These letters are so detailed, the points raised with deep thought and passion, notwithstanding the overbearing girlish imaginary. The content reveals that girls have the same, if not even better concerns and great aspirations as boys. In fact, much more than boys at their age. They reveal that young women mature early and yet their aspirations are nurtured late, leading to missed opportunities.
One thing that the girls vowed to
each other was to grow into change agents. “I want to change the world”, Nancy wrote
in one letter. Pauline replies: “ I dream to work hard and own half of the
world. My father should live to see my success”. No one at this time fantasized
about a marriage.
And, as fate would adorn them, they
had great prospects - great social support around them. Their perseverance through
adolescence could be accredited fully to stability within their families. Both
families were humble, modest, but intensely hovering, imposing, and regimented.
There were order and accountability, respect, and a sense of forwarding thrust. No
one sat on their hands or spent time kissing their teeth Infinitum.
The disruptive and violent tide of Uganda’s 90s
luckily did not rob them of their parents like their contemporaries. When their
contemporaries lost relatives and guardians to HIV/AIDS or War, the girls
reflected on those in their letters and found a source inspiration for self-preservation. They vowed never to flirt with a boy. Pauline writes in one of
her letters: “There is this hunk of a lad. He is handsome, stubborn,
hot-headed. He wants to be so bad. But I have to switch off my feelings else I
will violate our commitment to the future”. Nancy responded, “hold on tight my
sister, seek the guidance of Mother Theresa. These boys can wait. You know they
say the beautiful ones are not yet born…..yeah! Keep focused”
In the letters, the girls became alive and wrote passionately about their individual struggles with language, ethnic tensions, school regulations, grades, and desires for love. The latter subject was always switched off as a deviant thought. The Sacred Heart girl always described her ordeals in fine details, providing names and frequency of boys from various schools in Gulu who schemed desperately, with all strategies and tactics to display their adolescent vigor for her emerging curvatures.
“They write to me love letters, some
use obscenity, others are so funny, but some, unbelievably are arrogant and abusive.
I think some boys just lack class”. The one from Nabingo narrated her ordeals
of tribalism, tribal hate, discrimination, and unsavory punishment that she
encountered. Her letters always ended with a sigh of hope "....nino mo
bene bi gik".
Twenty years later, the two girls met
again. The meeting was occasioned. The heartless shocks of S6 exams had created
a rift between them. Nancy went to a business school while Pauline had
proceeded to a university overseas. Over the years, two of the brothers who
lived in exile had secured for her a place. So she left without informing her
dearest friend. The lull between the two had eroded the bond of camaraderie and
left each to their own fate.
Pauline had returned to the country a changed person. She appeared smooth and affluent but uprooted. She knew little about the new trends in Uganda, Kampala or even Gulu. The two friends thus met with fate in a dingy dusty city street full of noise and fast passed people going about their everyday hassle. None had the childhood zeal for their ideal vows had been abrogated by the cruelty of A level exams.
A level exam is a bitch. Had the
girls passed well, they could have reunited at MUK or any other publicly funded
University. Their sisterhood bond could have reinforced. But now, they were
like two strangers meeting in Umuofia.
On the fateful day of their surprise meeting, Pauline was the first to recognize Nancy. At first, she had her doubts. But she kept following her to confirm from a scar on Nancy’s forehead from playing Nyorio in childhood. Once Pauline confirmed that she approached with an exuding eagerness.
“Jal, Nancy, ningo!” She called out.
Nancy froze at hearing a familiar and yet a distant voice that hit her like a din from the past.
Nancy recognized the characteristic
voice of her childhood friend – her bestie. It was still rich with the same old
passion, sharp and soft. Nancy halted
her walk and came to a sudden stop. She shivered and strengthened her grip on
ger handbag when another passer-by body bumped her. Kampala is a city with many
tales.
"Itye nining, man an Pauline do,
jal dyera!" Pauline reaffirmed herself and crackled with a big smile like someone who
had just recovered from comatose to realize that they were not yet dead!
"Ayii, atye, an Nancy to
jal....", as Nancy turned fully to orient herself to the new development.
“Man in?”, Nancy inquired, to confirm.
"Man komi, dong iling kum?"
Pauline asked.
"Anongi kwene kono, makun bwomi
otwiiyo ni, ojone", Nancy reiterated as she stretched her arms to reach
her long lost friend for a huge hug, pushing her leather purse towards her
back. Nancy’s eyes locked in recognition of her friend’s rather polished
features.
*******************
The two women hugged and talked a
sthey drew themselves away from the centre of the street to the shades under a
verandar. Behind them a strong aroma oozed. It was a restaurant. On the other
side were hardware shops. The noise on the street made everyone strained. The
two friends decided to walk casually, hand-in-hand, and head-on-head to a
nearby restaurant for some quiet. Pauline sat Nancy down, or vice versa. They
exchanged pleasantries and contact information. The conversation was explosive.
It appeared they wanted to talk about everything but skirted on the surface.
Each had to account for their absence of for the near-misses given their childhood
vows.
Time, as usual was not there when
most needed. Nancy on realizing that time had passed quite quickly, pressed the
"I must go" button. Pauline was hesitant. She ignored the call to let
go. Pauline was still not in the mood for disengaging. She talked on and on and
on.
"Wabed kong diya, pe imming
an?" Pauline Pressed curiously while her eyes peeved into Nancy’s with
that childhood protest.
"Tell me, tell me
something", Pauline just continued as if their meeting had just begun. She
ordered for another cup of tea,
"Man imiti awaci ni ngo? An dong
adoko imat mujee, lutino adeg ki Lacoo Boo-kec moni". They both burst out
into a ball of heartily laughter.
"Boo-kec we! Ah, man ber do. Eno
ma oweko dong imito muku wot me dok pacu ni?" Pauline asked
"Ku bene ya...atye ka ryemo kor
cul na moni, atye atimo business i town kany. Kwo eni dong pa Min Obet gi ni
yaa",Nancy laughed indiscreetly and yet reassuringly. Nancy's humility always
exuded to mask any of her true circumstances, whether happy, successful or in
trouble, she remained calm. Now she felt her statement accounted for the grand
dreams the two friends had at childhood.
Pauline gave Nancy’s responses a
thought. She glanced at her watch and indeed the time had gone. She had to make
a phone call to her husband in Italy. Those calls have to be consistent – same
time every day or a constellation of other questions and demand for explanations
ensues.
"Aya wek dong awek iring, ci
omyero igoona cim wek dok warwate ma peya adok i Italy ba" Pauline offered
to continue the conversation at a later date.
"In kono, komi ki moo ma lyel
alyela calo mac kibirit ni, kwo tye ka teri nining?" Nancy now asks a
matter of fact question.
"Kwo perac, ento waboko nino ma
lacen" Pauline retorted. “Cawa ne bene dong odiya”, she concluded.
"Ayela peke, abineno
ne.....abilwongi wek ibin wa i pacu i ceng abicel eni. Yube. An abedo inge bar
dege kacaa. Atami ingeyo onyo iwinyo kama tye iye?"
"Ayenyo-o jal, meno lok ma tidi
mada", Pauline assures Nancy as the two women rose to hug and bid another farewell.
Part 2....loading!
