Living in Arrears: A poem

POETRY

Achiri walked in my hut stealthily, today

In the middle of the night, and kindled the old rusty lantern

She called out for me, asking whether I was asleep and OK

I responded to Achiri that I was sleeping but not asleep

Couldn’t she see that I was already sleeping, tucked under my blanket?

Poised for the swiftness of the night to take me asunder

In my silence and growls, and sighs, I was having a nightmare already

I do not have to be asleep in these adverse times to have a nightmare

It just has to be night, and it was declared

How could one sleep without a nightmare?

I have five mouths yawning at me to feed

Four little people who depend on me for their need to be fed

I depend on my paltry civil service salary as a Dad

But my salary is always in arrears

Taking its time

To come late, four, five months at a time

And yesterday, my boss called me to inform me that even for this month

My salary was coming in arrears.

Then I asked my boss whether his was also coming in arrears

For which, he choked on saliva and spat a cogent lie

So, I went to bed early with enough in my mind

I resigned in my retreat and I couldn’t get asleep

Just don’t ask me why, unless you don’t work

I was hiding from my reality, but the nightmare caught up

Then early morning, the landlord came knocking

He, of course, wants his rent

The month had ended promptly without arrears

He wants it now, there and then

I could see that even before his physical presence encroaches my personal space

I waited for evening to come as quickly as it could to salvage me

So I went to bed early again like I always did

How could I have fallen asleep with my life in arrears?

I was in bed by 5pm, covering my head to toes

The radio was on, with news of growth in GDP of 6% annually

I tried even further to ignore it

But that, in itself, was my nightmare

Thereafter, I could only wish that as the darkness peels to dawn

And so the time lapse that stood between now and my salaries

Yes, these days, I go to bed pretty early to sleep, but I never fall asleep

I am a civil servant in a country where the economy grows impressively

But arrears also grows proportionately by the same percentage

Achiri says I should try to sleep over it, not into it

But it is cold, and I shiver.

Achiri’s mother just left us

She does not want to live her life in arrears

Wouldn’t you understand her?

That is the peril of inter-generational marriage

Achiri’s mother would want to look trendy like other women

To hold in her arms, well-nourished and well-dressed children

To sleep in her own house where we are the Landlords

To have a husband that sleeps and endures bright dreams

And yet, all these noble wishes are in arrears

So, I end up sleeping alone, and not falling asleep because I am cold

I am an old and tired civil servant with my life in arrears

I am boring, bold; I live in your area!

End

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